So, I'm going back home for another 10 days and I'm way excited. Hopefully my mom doesn't catch wind of this because I'm telling her that I don't want to spend the money and then I'm going to get there in time to surprise her on her birthday :)
This also means that I might get to go to Purple Door Festival this year. I was disappointed that I was going to miss it. Thousand Foot Krutch is headlining Friday night and they are one of my favorites :) And the fact that I get to see my friends only a few weeks after telling them all that I'd see them at Christmas. It's gonna be good. I know I'll probably miss out on a lot of stuff here in Provo because it's the week of break between semesters but...I'll deal with it. Home is waaaay better.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
3 glorious weeks
I just spent 3 glorious weeks that were focused around two beautiful weddings. One being my dad's marriage to his 7-year partner and the other being that of my beautiful roommate (and later co-worker) from my senior year.
I was thankful to be able to spend a lot of time with my family. We went fishing, played Canasta, spent a lot of time at my grandparents, and even went to the beach. I'm so grateful for my family and the support that they give me.
I also got to spend some quality time with some good friends. I love knowing who my real friends are. They've become so evident over the past few years. It's funny how I can go 6 months without seeing them but it seems like no time has passed at all. We just go right back to where we left off. I love that feeling.
I was also blessed to make a few new friends during this time at home. I'm so glad that I was able to spend July 16th with a bunch of friends making new positive memories instead of remembering the awful ones from a year ago.
I was thankful to be able to spend a lot of time with my family. We went fishing, played Canasta, spent a lot of time at my grandparents, and even went to the beach. I'm so grateful for my family and the support that they give me.
I also got to spend some quality time with some good friends. I love knowing who my real friends are. They've become so evident over the past few years. It's funny how I can go 6 months without seeing them but it seems like no time has passed at all. We just go right back to where we left off. I love that feeling.
I was also blessed to make a few new friends during this time at home. I'm so glad that I was able to spend July 16th with a bunch of friends making new positive memories instead of remembering the awful ones from a year ago.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
poem 254
"Hope" is the thing with feathers -
that perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -
I've heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of Me.
- Emily Dickinson
that perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -
And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm -
I've heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of Me.
- Emily Dickinson
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Marathon Post
Well folks, it's 5:50am Mountain Time. I'm currently sitting in the Salt Lake airport after being up all night. Some friends and I went to see the Backstreet Boys last night (that's a post yet to come) then I finished packing when I got home and hopped into an airport shuttle at 3:30am. Now, with 20 minutes before it's time to board and lacking the energy to be able to read and stay awake, I'm writing the promised blog post about my first marathon.
We had a 7am flight out of Salt Lake to San Diego (with a transfer in Las Vegas). It was quite an early morning. A friend was nice enough to give me a ride at 5:15 in the morning. Friday wasn't very eventful. We walked to the expo center to pick up our packets. It ended up being about a 3 mile walk. My shoulders got burned big time, which did not feel so hot while running.
Saturday was our Inspiration Pasta Dinner (Lunch). And what an inspiration it was. One of the speakers had recently lost his teenage daughter to one of the forms of blood cancers. Another Team in Training chapter had just lost their "walk coach" to his battle with Leukemia. The stories made me cry. However, hearing the numbers of how much we raised for the LLS was inspiring. I believe the number was 12 million just from the fundraising participants alone. Since the San Diego Rock N Roll Marathon benefited the LLS this year, they made even more money off of the public's registration. Another inspiration was the little 87-year-old who was running her 13th marathon - she's participated in the past 13 of 14 San Diego Rock n Roll Marathons. Crazy, huh?
The Pasta Dinner welcoming committee! It was quite an entrance!
After lunch, my TNT roomie (Sam) and I rented a car and toured around. Our first stop was a beach in La Jolla. It was cloudy, go figure. Then later we met with Angel (one of my mentors and my best friend's mom) and Mishellay. We explored Old Towne, took a trip to Wal-mart, and just had fun.
San Diego roommates
Sunday was race morning. I'm not sure exactly what to say about it. We got there around 5:45am - a half hour before race start time. It was the perfect amount of time to get there beforehand, unlike the Disney Princess race. I kept an excellent steady run/walk pace up until mile 13 or so, then my running length started to get shorter and shorter. (My friends were amazed that I was texting them and answering phone calls during the race - but I only did so when I stopped to walk). After mile 18, it started to hurt. I could feel the blisters on the sides of my feet, my stomach was growling, and it was sooo hot. What kept me going was all of the encouragement from other TNT participants and cheerleaders along the way. I also found myself thinking about the names I painted on the back of my jersey. They were the real reason I was there, and I had to remember that.
Running for Allie, Julia, Rex, & in memory of Lesa.I got to the second cut-off point (20.7 miles) with 45 minutes to an hour to spare. Once I reached that point, I started to walk. I knew I would finish. I started to run/walk again at mile 25 just to make sure I wasn't too stiff to run the last .2 miles across the finish the line. When I reached 26 miles, one of the TNT coaches came up and ran beside me. She congratulated me on everything I've done, and that's when I started to cry. I was really about to finish a marathon!
After my victory run across the finish line, I heard my name being yelled. Angel and Mishellay (who had finished waaaay before I did) had waited for me. It was so great to be able to share this opportunity with Angel. She gave me her medal to bring home to give to Allie. This race was for her. Angel took care of me and immediately made me get iced and loaded me up with snacks and goodies.
That night, instead of going to the Victory Party, Sam and I stayed in our hotel room. Mishellay came and stayed with us while Angel went out with some old high school friends. We ordered pizza and watched movies. The perfect night after running a marathon.
Our weekend went by quickly but it was so much fun. I don't want to forget how much 26.2 miles hurt at the time but I surprisingly felt amazing afterward. I had some battle wound blisters, some bad sunburn, and minor aches. However, in comparison to many others that I saw, I felt AWESOME! I know that I had said that I would never do a full marathon again, but I want to do another one and finish under 7 hours. That's my new goal. Maybe the Philly one in September???
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
my public decree
Dearest Ramel'o,
I had the unfortunate pleasure of your company in my life nearly a year ago. At first you lifted me up, only to push me down twice as far. Your words have haunted me for nearly a year. The other day, as I looked through pictures from my marathon race weekend, I began to find myself thinking the things that you told me. Instead of thinking about everything I overcame, I started to think about how far I had left to go. Funny, how one can accomplish so much yet still live with some crazy idea that some jerk put into their head that they're not worth anything. Things are changing though. Today, I'm done. I'm not one to post such private things in such a public realm like Facebook but I have no way of contacting you, nor would I want to, so I'm making a public decree. No longer will your hurtful and degrading words pull me down. I'm done living in the ghost of your immaturity. This past week, I found myself radiating in confidence that I haven't felt since before our unfortunate meeting. Today, many people complimented me on my glow and spirit. One individual even referred to a radiating halo around me. Oh dearest Ramel'o, if you saw me today, I think you would take back every word you ever said to me. This "ugly as shit" girl who has nothing going for her but a "fat ass" is turning heads. Yes, the world needs to hear how your treat women and what you say to them when things don't go your way. You're done making me cry. You have no hold on me. I refuse to be scared of men because of your little boy behavior. And, my friend, you're wrong. I'm not the one who will end up alone for the rest of my life, you are because you treat women as your objects instead of as the precious and beautiful daughters of God that they are.
I had the unfortunate pleasure of your company in my life nearly a year ago. At first you lifted me up, only to push me down twice as far. Your words have haunted me for nearly a year. The other day, as I looked through pictures from my marathon race weekend, I began to find myself thinking the things that you told me. Instead of thinking about everything I overcame, I started to think about how far I had left to go. Funny, how one can accomplish so much yet still live with some crazy idea that some jerk put into their head that they're not worth anything. Things are changing though. Today, I'm done. I'm not one to post such private things in such a public realm like Facebook but I have no way of contacting you, nor would I want to, so I'm making a public decree. No longer will your hurtful and degrading words pull me down. I'm done living in the ghost of your immaturity. This past week, I found myself radiating in confidence that I haven't felt since before our unfortunate meeting. Today, many people complimented me on my glow and spirit. One individual even referred to a radiating halo around me. Oh dearest Ramel'o, if you saw me today, I think you would take back every word you ever said to me. This "ugly as shit" girl who has nothing going for her but a "fat ass" is turning heads. Yes, the world needs to hear how your treat women and what you say to them when things don't go your way. You're done making me cry. You have no hold on me. I refuse to be scared of men because of your little boy behavior. And, my friend, you're wrong. I'm not the one who will end up alone for the rest of my life, you are because you treat women as your objects instead of as the precious and beautiful daughters of God that they are.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
good, bad, good
I had the perfect Sunday afternoon. After being put into tears and being frustrated that someone of authority asked to talk with me, asked for my thoughts on something, and then cut me off mid sentence before deciding to tell me himself what I thought (dear people reading, please don't put words into others' mouths and decide not to listen to what the other person really has to say), then being told that falling in love and getting married is what I need, I just got into my car and drove. I ended up in Park City. It was nice. I walked up and down Main Street, did some window shopping, and decided to buy ice cream before I left, which I proceeded to spill all down my shirt and get all over my face (which I only found out after I had already talked to a Park Ranger...with chocolate ice cream all over my face, lol). I then proceeded to stop at the Deer Creek State Park Beach Area and finished reading the first Harry Potter book.
I wish I could vent more about what happened this morning but I think I need to keep the details to myself. I realize that he "feels prompted" to help but completely misreading the situation and misreading how I feel isn't helping. If he listened, he'd realize that I'm getting answers that are the exact opposite of what his are. However, he doesn't listen. And this is on top of the last meeting I had with him where I finally confided something that I've avoided talking about. He responded in the same way as so many other ignorant people do...in the same way as the classmate who said that girls who don't dress modestly are asking to be raped. When a girl says no, she means no, no matter what might have happened before regardless of whether before was a few weeks or a few seconds ago. (see key reminders and recovery obstacles here). I just can't be around the naivety and ignorance anymore. If I'm going to talk to someone, it's going to be someone who's trained in counseling rather than someone who's doing more harm than good.
On a more positive note, I got my TNT jersey yesterday morning. It was just the motivation I needed. I fly to San Diego Friday morning, and by Sunday afternoon, I will be a marathon finisher. :) I'm kinda nervous, but I've trained (and I finished my 20 miler run) so I know that I will finish.
I wish I could vent more about what happened this morning but I think I need to keep the details to myself. I realize that he "feels prompted" to help but completely misreading the situation and misreading how I feel isn't helping. If he listened, he'd realize that I'm getting answers that are the exact opposite of what his are. However, he doesn't listen. And this is on top of the last meeting I had with him where I finally confided something that I've avoided talking about. He responded in the same way as so many other ignorant people do...in the same way as the classmate who said that girls who don't dress modestly are asking to be raped. When a girl says no, she means no, no matter what might have happened before regardless of whether before was a few weeks or a few seconds ago. (see key reminders and recovery obstacles here). I just can't be around the naivety and ignorance anymore. If I'm going to talk to someone, it's going to be someone who's trained in counseling rather than someone who's doing more harm than good.
On a more positive note, I got my TNT jersey yesterday morning. It was just the motivation I needed. I fly to San Diego Friday morning, and by Sunday afternoon, I will be a marathon finisher. :) I'm kinda nervous, but I've trained (and I finished my 20 miler run) so I know that I will finish.
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