rough week

Well, I'll be honest. It's been a really rough week. I've felt...well...overlooked lately. I've gone back to finding out who my real friends are...who has let me talk to them about my the way I was feeling...and who understood even though I have no real logical reason as to why I feel that way. I just...feel unimportant right now. My real friends can tell when I'm down. I don't need to tell them. They can tell by the way I answer the phone, or how I disappear and lock myself into my room for a week and don't make any phone calls at all. Other times, they can tell that I just need a hug or a little note in the mail, and that will make everything better. That's been one hard thing about Utah. In Pennsylvania, I had those people who could just tell. Here, I have to seek help. Let's be real...seeking help is hard thing for me. I was always the kid who would never ask for her on her homework, who would always try to figure things out on her own. My stubborn personality has continued into adulthood. I miss those people who can tell when I just need a hug.

My trip to Vegas just reminded me of what I sacrificed when I moved to Utah - some awesome friendships. I know I came out here for personal growth, and an advanced education but sometimes I wonder if it's really all been worth it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for some of the incredible people I've met out here. There are several people that have really influenced me and have had me thinking, "I want to be like so and so," but I still cherish those childhood friendships. If I were back home, I'd be having a big 25th birthday celebration (well, actually, I'd be having a combined milestone party right now at this very moment with my friend/near sister Jenn). Today, one of my PA friends (who now lives in Las Vegas) told me that she was considering coming up for a day next weekend. Again, it makes me grateful for those childhood friends. I know there's a lot of factors that will influence her decision (i.e. a 6 hours is a long drive for a one night stay) but just the fact that she was considering it made me smile.

Anyway, everything that I've felt this week has made me think about what I can do for others who might be feeling the same way. What do you do to show people that they're important to you? Or what do you do for those who you might not even know very well?