Unanswered prayers

In November, I packed up my car after three wonderful (okay, two of those were wonderful) years in Utah. I left feeling bitter. I was so frustrated that I could not find a job/career in that state. I wanted to stay. Even after my last visit, I still wanted to move back. Today, I just came back from another week in Provo and I no longer feel that way. I'm going back for 4 - 5 weeks in July (I defend on July 23!!!) to finish up school and work towards these last 15 lbs that I have to lose. I know that a lot of my feelings from this past week were based on not having a car, thus feeling trapped and dependent on other people, but I realized that I mainly miss the gym (and the people that came with it obviously). Aside from a few friends that set aside time to see me, and some fun adventures to National Parks that I had last summer, it's really not all that wonderful. It's a good thing I was mainly there this week for school because, in reality, I was actually pretty bored.

I've finally realized that I need to dream bigger. As soon as I finish this defense in July, I can really focus on going after my dreams. I've always, in a way, wanted to be a hot shot doing something amazing. (i.e. as rewarding as it can be at times, I do NOT want to be a TSS for the rest of my life). I have experience, I have the education, and holy cow, with the help of Justine and the staff at the Boys & Girls Clubs of Utah County, I won the club a new van from Toyota. How many people can say that? The world is at my finger tips.

I often just want to pack up and pick a city. Unfortunately, student debt keeps me from starting afresh without a secured income. Until then, I will keep applying for jobs in new places.

In summary, I'm grateful for that unanswered prayer that caused me to move back home in November. If not, I might have been stuck in Utah County for the rest of my life.