overwhelmed with social media

I'm a mass communications major and I can't keep up with all of these social media networks. How does the average American not feel overwhelmed? I really want to give it all up but I can't because it's supposed to be my job! So, I shall continue to try to master the art of Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, etc. and ways in which it can enhance and promote businesses and organizations. But after I'm done watching Gossip Girl and finishing the conclusions section of the Master's Project. Soooo ready to be done with this and graduate!

Unanswered prayers

In November, I packed up my car after three wonderful (okay, two of those were wonderful) years in Utah. I left feeling bitter. I was so frustrated that I could not find a job/career in that state. I wanted to stay. Even after my last visit, I still wanted to move back. Today, I just came back from another week in Provo and I no longer feel that way. I'm going back for 4 - 5 weeks in July (I defend on July 23!!!) to finish up school and work towards these last 15 lbs that I have to lose. I know that a lot of my feelings from this past week were based on not having a car, thus feeling trapped and dependent on other people, but I realized that I mainly miss the gym (and the people that came with it obviously). Aside from a few friends that set aside time to see me, and some fun adventures to National Parks that I had last summer, it's really not all that wonderful. It's a good thing I was mainly there this week for school because, in reality, I was actually pretty bored.

I've finally realized that I need to dream bigger. As soon as I finish this defense in July, I can really focus on going after my dreams. I've always, in a way, wanted to be a hot shot doing something amazing. (i.e. as rewarding as it can be at times, I do NOT want to be a TSS for the rest of my life). I have experience, I have the education, and holy cow, with the help of Justine and the staff at the Boys & Girls Clubs of Utah County, I won the club a new van from Toyota. How many people can say that? The world is at my finger tips.

I often just want to pack up and pick a city. Unfortunately, student debt keeps me from starting afresh without a secured income. Until then, I will keep applying for jobs in new places.

In summary, I'm grateful for that unanswered prayer that caused me to move back home in November. If not, I might have been stuck in Utah County for the rest of my life.

two weeks

I gave my two weeks (well, three weeks in this case) to my weekend job because I'm going to UTAH for a big chunk of the summer.

I might see if they'll take me back next Christmas but I don't think I want to give up every Friday, Saturday and Sunday of my life for awhile.

I'm defending my thesis in July (finally!) and after that...oh, I pray that things work out career wise. While I am blessed to have my current job as a TSS, I really don't want to do it full-time nor for the rest of my life. It feels good to see improvement in my client but I'm rather bored. I want to use the skills I gained over the past 7 years of my life. I guess the only thing I can do is keep applying and keep praying.

realizing that you're good at something

I found myself re-reading a paper I wrote back in 2009 for my intercultural communication class. I needed to transfer some of the methods section to my thesis and just started skimming the other 30 pages. When I got to the end, I thought "Wow, I'm a really good writer." It always has been my strong point. I may not be a very good creative writer or very good at writing in my personal blogs but when it comes to making information sound pleasant and flowing, I'm good at it.

I want to write more. I don't want to be a glorified babysitter too much longer. I might be able to last for another school year but I really need to get myself back into the PR field. I want to write press releases dang it!

Things have been pretty crazy and stressful. I had a couple days off because of the Easter/Spring break at the schools. I've been able to use this time productively and get caught up on tasks. Now, I just need to get back on track with my workouts and nutrition. I'm looking into joining the Air Force; I'd like to get in as an Officer of Public Affairs. I, however, would like to drop another 10 pounds before meeting with a recruiter.

Things with Victor continue to go in a positive direction. He's waiting on a bail hearing, attempting to get his bail dropped and to get out, get his job back, get back into the daily grind of "real life" while waiting for his actual trial. I didn't get into visit him this evening because I ended up sleeping for a good four hours (I haven't been feeling well) but last week's visit ended with a question that completely caught me off guard.

Well, I'm not about wasting time on the Internet today. I have some things to get done.

It's hard to admit but I'm in slump: mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I've gained 7 lbs in the past three months. I no longer say "No" to items I wouldn't have even considered putting into my body five months ago. I don't like the way I feel but I'm struggling to fix my decisions at home. My experiences at LA Fitness haven't been helping my fitness goals. I build my workout schedule around my training appointments but the last 5 out of 6 times that I've showed up for an appointment, there hasn't been a trainer available or the trainer cancelled an hour or two before my appointment. I'm not getting the accountability and encouragement that I need, the reason I signed up for more training anyway. I know how to work myself out. I don't need someone to just run me through workouts. I need encouragement and a friend in this journey. I don't want to go the opposite direction anymore. I'm tired of making stupid food choices that I only regret later. My pants are too snug, I don't feel good in my clothes anymore. It's just frustrating to go backwards in everything I worked for. I want so bad to be able to move back to Utah for a couple more years in order to finish this journey with a trainer that I know has my best interest in mind, not just money.

I'm frustrated with family members that aren't looking out or my best interest. A particular one that doesn't understand that I don't want to look for jobs just in this area. I'm not happy here. Yeah, things are okay but I don't glow like I did all last year.

I need to find a way to get remotivated. I'm almost two weeks into my 3 - 4 weeks without running, cycling, zumba, lunges, etc. Hopefully, my knee will be healed and I can slowly get back into my old routine. I think that not running makes me cranky.

opinions needed

I have a question for you all and could use some of your opinions. So, a good five or six years ago, I made a two-page scrapbook layout with pictures and captions about my relationship with Brian (We were still dating and talking about marriage when I made this). I have since ripped off a couple of the text blocks but what about the photos? Is it acceptable to keep them in the scrapbook or should I just toss those pages all together? It was my first (and let's be honest, until recently, only) serious relationship. And I did run into Victor again while I was with Brian at the gas station...okay, actually I had left Brian's apartment after an argument and walked across the street to the gas station but still, you get the point. (Funny how those things work).

Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.