risky emotions

My heart wants one thing but my head is trying super hard to keep it in check. I got another poem the other day; this one is actually good.

Want
I am drawn to you with love like fire,
Each surge of passion to my heart so dire,
You're sugar sweet like the lure of flowers,
Like a peach that I could eat for hours,
Like honey pure so amber true
The purity that flows through you,
the soft velvet brush of loves' desire,
That stirs the drive of love so ire,
I pine to have you to love and hold,
To love with passion into our days of old,
For the girl you are I give my heart guilt free,
And as years pass I pray you'll want this love from me.



His grandma is worried about me; told my mom so. Funny how at Christmastime she was telling me how she wished he would have taken to me. Now that he is, she's not even rooting for us. She won't tell me to my face...I think there's still a glimmer of hope that she wants for her grandson but she doesn't want it at the cost of him hurting me, if that makes sense. Her words to me were, "He's a gamble." I could stick around, fight for him, and things will all work out. Or, he could go right back to his old habits and I'll just be tangled up in the mess.

So, I'm here in Pennsylvania but I'm not going to visit him. It's too soon to face him face-to-face. Maybe come July...maybe by then there will be someone else in my life, and I can simply reply, "We can only be friends."