discovery

So, I've been pondering over several things for the past few months. During this process, I discovered something:

In addition to all of the awesome people I met during my five months abroad, I loved Ecuador so much because I wasn't just another face in the crowd. I was a red-headed American in a Latin American world. I stuck out. I didn't blend in. Sure, the hissing (Ecuadorian form of whistling) got annoying and was pretty obnoxious but I admit, I kinda liked it. In an odd way, it made me feel beautiful. Due to the fact that I did stick out, everyone wanted to talk to me. All of the guys wanted to "practice their English" and the girls just wanted to be my friend. They constantly teased me about how when they couldn't find me, they always knew to look for the boys and there I would be...right in the middle of them. Ecuador made me feel...well...special.

As I've walked around campus the past couple of weeks, I looked around and realized that I'm just another face in the crowd at this point. In a student body consisting primarily of white American young adults, I can't stand out with my appearance (I've seen more redheads in Provo in the past 3 weeks than I have in my entire life). And, unfortunately, in this American society, I don't have the appearances that catch someone's first interest. More than once, I've felt slightly intimidated by being surrounded by so many tall, skinny and beautiful girls and have compared myself to them...usually feeling down on myself, knowing that I just can't compare. (I know, it's really not a healthy thing to do).

Moral of my story: Utah isn't Ecuador; If I want to get to know more people, I have to show them what's different about me through my personality. They need to see, by my actions and words, why I shouldn't be considered just another face in the crowd.