boys and sports

Boys and sports: two things that seem universally linked together.

I discovered tonight that when it comes to sports, all boys are the same--it runs through veins like blood no matter their race, culture, nor their AGE.

This past summer, I worked as a therapeutic day camp counselor...where we played a lot of games (and sports). While the boys (and some girls) were super competitive, the biggest problem was the accusation of cheating, constant arguing and the "he's out too."

Tonight, I played dodge-ball and two-hand touch football for the ward FHE activity. I went wondering if playing with college-aged guys would be any different than playing with young boys between the ages of 9 and 13. By the end, I concluded that it's really not. While there was less arguing, I noticed the same thing: only trying to get the good players out, or in football, throwing the ball to the "good players," and best of all, "He's out too!."

I could complain that I was open several times but was never thrown the ball, but that's not my point of writing. I can't help but to wonder if sports were always in guys' blood or if much of it has to do with the way sports have evolved in society. I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks.

house and dog-stting

So, I've been house/dog sitting this past week for the Russell family as they spend their time in DisneyLand. (I'd personally rather be in DisneyLand hunting down Eeyore). It's been eerie at times to be in this big house by myself. Luckily, the dog loves me and she keeps me company.

I've been having problems with her escaping though. She dug giant holes under the gate entrances and ran through the neighborhood while I was in class. Each day I thought I rigged the gates so that she couldn't get out; she constantly proved me wrong. I had to borrow a chain from the neighbor. I come home from class yesterday and she had gotten herself so tangled up that she couldn't move more than 3 or 4 feet. I feel bad but I don't know what else to do.

She's so spoiled but she's a good dog. Except that she has gas. It's terrible. LOL.

This week I've been spending about 2 hours at the gym: I like to read an entire chapter in my textbook while I'm on one of the cardio machines; it takes me about an hour. It's been very relaxing. I've always enjoyed the way I feel after a good workout. I do miss the way I always felt after a good run but I need some more time before I'm ready for that. I think I'll be ready to jump on the treadmill in about two weeks and gradually work my way back up to a 2 mile run. And then come spring, it's back to running outside. yay!!

changes

Well, here are my changes to work on this semester. There's always room for modifications.

1) I'm joining a 24-hour gym instead of just trying to fit BYU's faciliites into my schedule. There will be no excuse for me not to go if it's open 24 hours of the day (except for Sundays) and I'll be less likely to talk myself out of it if I'm paying for it (I'm actually headed there in...oh about an hour or so).

• I will go four times a week for a minimum of 30 mins cardio
• I will lift at least twice a week
• keep a daily food and exercise log
  

2) I will talk to at least 2 people at activities and functions rather than just showing up and leaving when it's done

3) I will be more organized and keep my room tidy...I think I'll be more productive this way

4) This will lead to better time-management

5) Devotions and scripture reading on a daily basis

6) I will physically write (instead of typing) at least two journal entries a week

7) I will strive to keep in better contact with friends and family who are important to me, whether that be through face-to face communication, phone calls, letters or electronic means.

8) TRUST that things will work out and not spend so much time worrying about which decision I should make.

and last but not least (for now)

9) LIVE FOR THE PRESENT!!! and enjoy where I am. Instead of constantly reminiscing about the past and wanting to be somewhere else with other people, I'm going to enjoy where I am in the present. In order to do this I will list two positive things about each day.

time of change

Last night's talk with a good friend encouraged me to think about the things I want to change about myself...the things that I can actually control. I'm working on that list. Maybe I'll post it, maybe it'll stay personal. He put everything into perspective for me though. I've been spending too much time worrying about trying to change things that make me who I am.

I went to ward prayer last night. It's a whole new concept for me. I met some cool people though and then went to hang out at an apartment. It was name overload for me. We'll see how many names I can put with faces between now and Sunday.

While, I'm still concerned about the current state of my faith and the surroundings I have placed myself in, I'm learning to make the most of things while I'm here. I do like my program, it's just overwhelming. And, while there are waaaayyy too many people for me on this campus, I have to remember that I should not feel the need to know everyone. A few good friends in the ward, a few good friends in my classes, the friends I had before coming out here, and a couple friends from places outside of the church and school will make a good variety.

I'm working on accepting the fact that I am another face in the crowd...but a valuable and unique face just like everyone else.

discovery

So, I've been pondering over several things for the past few months. During this process, I discovered something:

In addition to all of the awesome people I met during my five months abroad, I loved Ecuador so much because I wasn't just another face in the crowd. I was a red-headed American in a Latin American world. I stuck out. I didn't blend in. Sure, the hissing (Ecuadorian form of whistling) got annoying and was pretty obnoxious but I admit, I kinda liked it. In an odd way, it made me feel beautiful. Due to the fact that I did stick out, everyone wanted to talk to me. All of the guys wanted to "practice their English" and the girls just wanted to be my friend. They constantly teased me about how when they couldn't find me, they always knew to look for the boys and there I would be...right in the middle of them. Ecuador made me feel...well...special.

As I've walked around campus the past couple of weeks, I looked around and realized that I'm just another face in the crowd at this point. In a student body consisting primarily of white American young adults, I can't stand out with my appearance (I've seen more redheads in Provo in the past 3 weeks than I have in my entire life). And, unfortunately, in this American society, I don't have the appearances that catch someone's first interest. More than once, I've felt slightly intimidated by being surrounded by so many tall, skinny and beautiful girls and have compared myself to them...usually feeling down on myself, knowing that I just can't compare. (I know, it's really not a healthy thing to do).

Moral of my story: Utah isn't Ecuador; If I want to get to know more people, I have to show them what's different about me through my personality. They need to see, by my actions and words, why I shouldn't be considered just another face in the crowd.

Nutella

I have this craving for Nutella. It would be really yummy with peanut butter and pretzels right now. I think I'll have to add it to my things to buy list in a couple of weeks. Mmm. But my stomach is growling so I think I will go make myself a peanut butter and banana sandwhich...even if it is 10:30 at night....

Mmm, such a yummy lunch

wavering emotions

OK, here's the thing...I don't really like it here. It's not bad...but it's not a place I've fallen in love with. I know that a lot of that has to do with me and my stage of life but I'm starting to think that God sent me to the wrong place...or maybe I only needed to be here for a few weeks to gain some invaluable experience that I have yet to learn.

1) I find myself feeling very lonely but I don't really have time to go be social. I have 20 hours of reading a week just for my job, then a good 3-4 hours a week for each of my 4 classes. The time that I take to send someone a quick IM, to post a blog and to go to the gym (where I continue to read) is the time I have to myself. Oh, and making meals. That's my time to just think.

2) I don't think I'm cut out for this scholarly life. I'm still trying to figure out why I got in...and why I felt called to be here in the first place. I don't plan on being a professor, I'm not headed towards getting a doctorate. All I knew is that most of the jobs I saw all preferred a masters degree....

3) There's a job opening at Messiah and I'm interested in applying. Coordinator of Alumni and Parent Relations. I think I might go for it.

4) I'm just not really happy here.

5) I'm still figuring out this whole Mormon thing. I don't think I like it. I have trouble developing the personal connection with God when I'm constantly being told what to do by "prophets" and "apostles."

6) I really just want my old life back. I kinda wish the Vanderhoof family had never moved next door and then I would have never felt this stupid contention. I would feel like the rope in the game of tug'o-war. Then again, I wouldn't have met so many awesome people who have been incredible influences in my life.

7) I miss my friends

8) I could really use a hug from my mom right now.

9) The outskirts of Duncannon, PA will always be my home: