early resolutions

I'm starting my resolutions now...why wait until the new year?

1. Start and follow a monthly budget - major goal: stop impulse spending i..e. such as the giant black Friday stuffed Eeyore that is currently sitting next to me
2. Pay off my car by the end of next year
3. Get back on track with marathon and weight training
4. Start being a health nut again (I might not have had as much fun but I felt better when I was a health nut)

distant summer

This past summer, and the people from it, seem so distant. It's so weird to think that I spent so much time talking to someone and now I almost feel like that person never even existed in my life. Crazy how things work. Sometimes, I think that friendship is like learning a language. You invest so much time studying it, getting to know its personality, so to say. You don't wait until you completely know it to put it to pratice. You become fluent by practicing. Once you stop practicing and using the langauge, you start to lose it.

Friendships must be continually cultivated...otherwise, it turns into a mere acquintance.



I have a lot to write about, but this is what's on my mind right now.

last day in the first 1/4 century of my life

I just felt the need to write a blog post on this day. I marked the last day of the first 1/4 century of my life by getting back into my running routine. 3.5 miles (ok, one of those was on the cross trainer but the other 2.5 were on the treadmill). I did intervals. It was fun...nothing like sprinting at 8.0. It makes the miles go by much faster too. I don't get as bored. I'm going to push myself to 5 miles this week before I leave for Texas (eeek!!! - I'm so not ready for that)

children are inspiring

I've had my heart touched by children in so many ways this week.

1) The club kids colored Toy Story pictures to send to Rex, my friends' little boy who is battling a brain stem tumor. I initiated the project as a way to do something meaningful for the family. It was a tender moment. At first the kids didn't understand why they were coloring pictures for someone else. However, after hearing a brief synopsis of Rex's story, they started asking all sorts of questions. "Why is he sick?" "He has cancer?" "I hope he...what's the word...resurrects?" "yeah, like Jesus" as one little girl replied to that common. The same little girl made a comment, as kids were asking about cancer, "It's not fair. He doesn't get to choose his death like people who smoke." The kids got really into coloring pictures for him. They especially liked coloring the Rex dinosaur picture and making Rex the dinosaur say hi to Rex the child. It was absolutely adorable. It reminded me how big kids' hearts are. I had had a frustrating time with the kids the week before. They were being mean and just annoying. This week changed everything.

2) Nicole and Luis (two of the most adorable kids) both attacked me with hugs one day and told me that I look like Barbie and that they're going to start calling me Barbie. I can honestly say that this is the first time I've ever been told that I look like Barbie, lol. Let's be real...I look nothing like Barbie...unless they turned her redhead friend into a plus-sized doll.

3) I attended the Mormon Media Studies Symosium today (I presented a paper). I got to the Boys & Girls Club around 5:30 this evening. There was half of a best friends necklace on my desk. One of the girls left it for me. When I walked into the Power Hour room, she screamed my name and ran to give me a hug.

4) Nicole (the same girl who told me I look like Barbie) left me post it notes that said "You are pretty" and "You are nice."

5) Kids are constantly asking if they can help me (but I think that's because I gave candy to some of my helpers over the last few weeks)


Bottom line, I love these kids. August, if I really do move back to PA, is going to be soooo hard. I can pretty much guarantee that I'll cry.



In other news, my new computer came. It's so nice to have a laptop again. I've missed being able to work on research and papers from home rather than having to stay at work late or camping out at the library all night. I got a purple pillow-pet from a friend. It's purple and waaaaay fluffy. I love birthday season.

rough week

Well, I'll be honest. It's been a really rough week. I've felt...well...overlooked lately. I've gone back to finding out who my real friends are...who has let me talk to them about my the way I was feeling...and who understood even though I have no real logical reason as to why I feel that way. I just...feel unimportant right now. My real friends can tell when I'm down. I don't need to tell them. They can tell by the way I answer the phone, or how I disappear and lock myself into my room for a week and don't make any phone calls at all. Other times, they can tell that I just need a hug or a little note in the mail, and that will make everything better. That's been one hard thing about Utah. In Pennsylvania, I had those people who could just tell. Here, I have to seek help. Let's be real...seeking help is hard thing for me. I was always the kid who would never ask for her on her homework, who would always try to figure things out on her own. My stubborn personality has continued into adulthood. I miss those people who can tell when I just need a hug.

My trip to Vegas just reminded me of what I sacrificed when I moved to Utah - some awesome friendships. I know I came out here for personal growth, and an advanced education but sometimes I wonder if it's really all been worth it. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for some of the incredible people I've met out here. There are several people that have really influenced me and have had me thinking, "I want to be like so and so," but I still cherish those childhood friendships. If I were back home, I'd be having a big 25th birthday celebration (well, actually, I'd be having a combined milestone party right now at this very moment with my friend/near sister Jenn). Today, one of my PA friends (who now lives in Las Vegas) told me that she was considering coming up for a day next weekend. Again, it makes me grateful for those childhood friends. I know there's a lot of factors that will influence her decision (i.e. a 6 hours is a long drive for a one night stay) but just the fact that she was considering it made me smile.

Anyway, everything that I've felt this week has made me think about what I can do for others who might be feeling the same way. What do you do to show people that they're important to you? Or what do you do for those who you might not even know very well?