Friday, January 15, 2016

Mid-January and I'm finally at a point where I can reflect on 2015. The year 2015 was filled with life-changing events that took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. I started the year with excitement and preparation to begin a family, only to find out a week later that there was no heartbeat. It led to month of grief, the discovery of who my true friends were and who my fun and do-stuff-together friends were. It followed with the loss of my job position due to the school not renewing the contract with it's agency.

I began to work with a really tough case, a seven year-old who was neglected by his mother and not provided the emotional support that he needed. A boy that threw punches, got in my face to argue with me, and tried to choke his principal by his tie. It was such a stressful few months in my life. The work environment added to my personal emotions caused me stress and affected my relationship to the point where I was affecting Eric's attitude.

December brought on emotions as I watched everyone celebrate "Baby's 1st Christmas," and fought back feelings of anger of losing my baby. I'm still paying the bill for the surgery that finalized the loss of my baby. To add to it, I was informed that my future pregnancies, if I'm able to conceive again, will be considered high-risk due to a bicornuate uterus (a condition that only .5% of American women have. The possibility of more miscarriages is high. According to chekpregnancy.com, "statistics show that 63% of pregnancies where a woman has a bicornuate uterus will result in spontaneous abortion. Those that do not have a spontaneous abortion have a 15% - 25% chance of having a preterm pregnancy."

I ended December by picking up and moving to Maryland with Eric. We have an adorable little place in Timonium. I love the location and the atmosphere. I've started a new job at my agency's Red Lion site - an Autism Program and like it thus far.

As I work to get past January 19, remembering my Angel Baby, I'm excited as to what 2016 will bring me.