Tuesday, March 20, 2012

It's hard to admit but I'm in slump: mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I've gained 7 lbs in the past three months. I no longer say "No" to items I wouldn't have even considered putting into my body five months ago. I don't like the way I feel but I'm struggling to fix my decisions at home. My experiences at LA Fitness haven't been helping my fitness goals. I build my workout schedule around my training appointments but the last 5 out of 6 times that I've showed up for an appointment, there hasn't been a trainer available or the trainer cancelled an hour or two before my appointment. I'm not getting the accountability and encouragement that I need, the reason I signed up for more training anyway. I know how to work myself out. I don't need someone to just run me through workouts. I need encouragement and a friend in this journey. I don't want to go the opposite direction anymore. I'm tired of making stupid food choices that I only regret later. My pants are too snug, I don't feel good in my clothes anymore. It's just frustrating to go backwards in everything I worked for. I want so bad to be able to move back to Utah for a couple more years in order to finish this journey with a trainer that I know has my best interest in mind, not just money.

I'm frustrated with family members that aren't looking out or my best interest. A particular one that doesn't understand that I don't want to look for jobs just in this area. I'm not happy here. Yeah, things are okay but I don't glow like I did all last year.

I need to find a way to get remotivated. I'm almost two weeks into my 3 - 4 weeks without running, cycling, zumba, lunges, etc. Hopefully, my knee will be healed and I can slowly get back into my old routine. I think that not running makes me cranky.