anti-consumerism

I hate consumerism, I really do. I think that's been a huge part of my struggle while trying to adjust from my small-town life and inner-city Philadelphia experiences in Pennsylvania as well as my time in a developing country to Provo/Orem, Utah. The brand names, the gigantic houses, the fancy cars...it's just not me. I started to fall into the trap for awhile. At one time, I was even considering buying a pair of jeans at Buckle. But no, it's not going to happen. I cannot justify spending a large sum of money on a piece of clothing when others don't even have shoes to wear.

I've been thinking a lot about poverty. My financial situation isn't so hot now that my research assistantship contract has ended and I can't find a decent job in Provo/Orem. Some have suggested that I try to get some government assistance but I struggle doing that knowing that there are many others who need that assistance more than I do. And I use the funds, it's not available for others. I should have budgeted better. Luckily, I had enough money saved for May and June's rent. I just don't see myself asking for help when I still have all of this stuff in my room. I guess I could sell the Best Buy gift cards I've been hording as my dad keeps giving them to me for my birthday and at Christmas. I kept saving them so that I could one day buy something I really want. But shouldn't I use them as financial resources before going to the government for aid. Maybe that's what makes me different. I don't look for the easy cop out. I'm always trying to figure out how to do it on my own. Anyway, back to my thoughts on poverty and the many commandments to help those who are in poverty, both spiritual and physical poverty. There are many days I look around my room and just ask myself why I have so much stuff. I don't need it. It's not essential. Why did I spend money on that instead of putting it to good use? That $10 necklace could have gone toward a micro-loan and could have helped someone open their own jewelry-making business in South America.

I've always wanted to help people. I've always wanted to serve and be involved in missions; so why in the world did I spend the last two years of my life getting a Master's degree at Brigham Young University? I hate to say it, but I think I took the easy way out rather than following what God was really telling me to do. I got scared of the Peace Corps and moved to Utah instead. I've been avoiding a big call in my life. And when one isn't doing what he or she is really supposed to be doing, there is uneasiness, restlessness, and just downright times of depression. So, I'm fixing this, somehow. I will find some way to serve others, and in more than just good customer service at a store or by happily always taking out the trash.

I'm pledging, over the next few months, to start selling and giving away a lot of the pointless things I've accumulated over the last several years. If I'm going to be serious about a life of service, I won't need this stuff anyway.


"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal" ~ Matthew 6:20

"Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves money belts which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near nor moth destroys." Luke 12:33